I recently lost my brother to colon cancer, and it can be anytime, anywhere when the waterworks start to flow. A smell, a thought of something to share, a special event, a place you'd like to visit, news of the day, something or someone that pissed you off :) or just a plain old song, become things that you wish you could share.
During the first days I could practically hear the minutes turn in to hours and the hours turn in to days, days in to weeks, and now it has been 3 1/2 months since I last saw my older brother, Mark. I can say his name and smile, my mind reels with memories and feelings and thoughts one after another, and never a day passes that I don't hear a song that brings me to tears. In the frenzy of learning to let go in a way that I can manage, planning to have a memorial, dealing with family dynamics, and trying to accept something that I just really don't want to accept - I have found comfort in learning to really LISTEN to the songs of Marks life. Shortly after a recent early morning Saturday run while listening to my iPod, I emailed out the question to family and friends - "What is the song that when you hear it, immediately reminds you of Mark"?
Amazing answers quickly began to arrive and it soon became a game of who could remember what songs, and how many. We could all remember a dance, a golf game, a wedding, a happy event, we all had a common bond with my brother, he had shared his love of music and good times and friends with all of us. It brought a smile to my face, and a song to my heart - and more importantly, an idea to my head. I now have a DVD that we will have available at the memorial service in May. A memento of a great man and the music he loved, the songs he shared with family and friends and that bring tears to his sisters eyes, tears of joy for a man she adored.
I'll continue to listen to music and remember, and cry, because when you really think about it there are worse things than crying. You could, not remember.......
No comments:
Post a Comment