If I talk loud enough, will he hear me :)

     I found myself driving to work yesterday and almost daily while I am driving up toward the Mission with the sun shining brightly, and early morning looking like an amazing day on the rise - I think of Mark.  I have begun to believe that God put him in charge of the weather :)  Be it a beautiful sunrise, or sunset, or unbelievable beautiful weather on our central coast - and any day that is a spectacular golf day, I want to believe that Mark has something to do with it.  Anyway, what I believe and whatever it is that is true doesn't matter - what happens on a regular basis when the morning is beautiful and I find myself thinking of him, I talk out loud - really loud, to my brother.  I yell while driving at the top of my lungs in the hopes that he can hear me, that he is looking down and laughing at me while I drive and talk to him.
     I have learned to control this behavior because if I get too involved, I get angry. He is gone, I always wonder why, I try to justify to myself that it was for a reason (not) and that I am doing just fine. If I get too loud and crazy, people in the other cars notice, and on many occasions they know me and just give me that "crazy" smile.
     He hears me, I know it - and although I am better than I have been, I am not always fine.  I may act it, but I will never be "fine" with this - I miss you Mark brother - can you hear me now?

"Farmers Wife" like in a real farm? Yes.......

     It never ceases to amaze me that to this day when I mention something, anything about farming - people still look at me and say, "farmers wife, farming... like in dirt and tractors and stuff?"

Harvesting lettuce

     I suppose I take for granted that it is what my husband and his family have done for over 65 years in this valley, and as I type this, even I find that impressive and the years staggering.

     There are over 3200 acres of farm land just west of Lompoc City proper, that is know as "The Valley" that have in years past been farmed with beans and flowers of numerous varieties. They are now however farmed by my family mainly with vegetables such as lettuce, broccoli, cauiflower, celery and artichokes.  The following pictures are of a day that I noticed more activity than usual and I had my camera with me.  There is often much more activity and at times much less, but there is always something going on and I can attest to the fact that there is lots to do, schedules to follow and deadlines to meet in order for all of us to eat wonderful fresh, clean and tasty produce.
I suppose I really do take all this for granted, I love the smell of freshly chopped fields, and I love having access to the field fresh vegetables but it's hard work and Steve loves making all this happen. He's a very hard worker.

 Big John Deere tractor

     There is something about the process.  The working of the land, the digging in the dirt, the planting and watering and watching things grow, then the harvest and then starting all over again.  It is basic in a sense and then complicated in reality - the way the rows go, and the water flows, how much yield you can get and then let us not forget - the weather.  Before Steve I never paid much attention to "the weather" but now, I know it is an important piece to the puzzle.

     There was a time before I was married to Steve that has become a topic of conversation in our marriage.  Coming from Lompoc and then leaving Lompoc for awhile it became clear to me at some point that "the Valley" was a huge part of me.  During a time in my life that I was truly unhappy, I use to envision going down to the valley and just putting my hands in the dirt.  This became such a desire at one point, that on a trip to Lompoc with the kids, I actually went down and walked a field, put my hands in the dirt and as sad as it seems, I cried.  I believe that it had to do with the whole "roots of my being" feeling that all of this, that I had known my entire life and was important to me, had been slipping away in my life, and just putting my hands in the dirt and smelling the smells of some things that grounded me, made it all better.  I had no idea at the time, but that field that I walked and threw dirt clods in, belonged to Steve and the Guerra family.

       Shortly after that visit to Lompoc, I returned for good from Southern California - with two very small children, but minus a husband.  I returned to "plant" my family here and watch them grow, it was not at the time where I really wanted to be, or so I thought, but it was safe and easy for the kids and I - little did I know that in the next two years I would realize what a wonderful move it would become.

     I didn't know Steve when all of this was happening.  I find it very ironic to this day that the whole "putting my hands in the dirt" thing actually had anything to do with him.  I thought it had to do with my dad - he had always been in construction and dirt work, not farming, more like building, but I have always been able to close my eyes and remember how he smelled everyday when he came home from work.  He smelled like the earth - like dirt, not bad, just earthy, and I believe that my desire to just get back to basics and the honesty of simple things, the straight and narrow of life, was what I had been lacking and so needed to find again. 

     It worked, I found myself again and then two years later I certainly found it in Steve.

     And that is how I became - the farmers wife......   :)

Days like this, are why we live on the Central Coast...

When the sun is up before you are on the Central Coast of California, it's gonna be a GREAT day!
These are the days that we live for around here because we already know that the traffic is light, there are wide open spaces, places to grow, and think, and plant something.  Not so many "things to do" - no bowling, not much shopping, few movies, not many activities - but plenty of outdoor space, family time and sporting events.  I believe the reason I love to cook so much is because being in the kitchen keeps me busy, gives me something to do, to plan to create and I love that.   And when the weather is nice, there really isn't a better place to be - the air is clean and clear - you can see FOREVER - the sunshine makes people generally in a better mood, and..... life is good.

Rows are all about how you look at them.....

There is nothing like an early morning jog along the countryside in early Spring after a rain, and everything looks fresh, and all in a row....

As I jogged along this morning, I realize its all how you look at it - The walnut trees seem straight, until you tweak your outlook just a bit, then they are staggered, in rows in a different way, yet it all depends on how you look at them. The celery growing off Rucker Road near my house is planted in straight rows, yet as you run by, the rows changes and are straight - depending on how you look at them.

Kinda like life - things can appear to be all in order, but they are not - It all depends on how you look at them.

My run was fantastic, I crossed the river bed, which still has water in it and could listen to the squish of my shoes as I ran the rest of the way looking at how beautiful everything looks all green and growing the new flowers of spring. Life is good.... it all depends on how you look at it!