About Me

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One of my favorite lines in Alice In Wonderland is "and WHO are You?" That is a great question to which I would have to answer -I am a mother, a wife, a sister and auntie, an accountant, runner, friend, cook, consumer, reader, photographer, and daughter. I live in the life of a farming family, I love to travel.... too many things to try to pick just one and I would never want to try, these are the things in life that make me tick. I am who I am, you get what you get, and I love my life. In other words... "It is what it is".

Sunday, August 28, 2011

17 years and I can still hear her voice.

     Stacy Lynn Williams Jones - it is the anniversary of your passing today and I'd like to toast a glass of very fine wine to you my friend, and I remind myself of the ways that I miss you still each and every day.  Some of the times and reasons that I miss you are:
  1. When I eat popcorn.
  2. I hope that by this time in our lives you would have stopped smoking, but whenever anyone lights up a cigarette - I smile.  (I know I shouldn't, but I do)
  3. When Flower Festival time rolls around.
  4. When someone announces that they are pregnant.
  5. When I taste a really nice wine in a really clean glass.....
  6. When I see that Korey and Kristin have grown into such wonderful people and I am so happy that I am allowed to continue to share in their lives.  It seems like so very long ago.....
  7. When the wind blows.
  8. When I find a gray hair.
  9. When I watch redecorating shows or cooking shows on TV.
  10. When I see our mothers together - it was suppose to be that way for us.
It has been 17 years - they would have been different years for me I believe.  There is a hole in my heart that has never been filled, I miss you my friend.

  You weren't even around when BFF was coined but, you are mine.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

A trip, an apartment and a new baby on the way.....

     Baltimore in August - an exciting thought and I made it happen just before having to return to school near the end of August.  Elizabeth and her Maryland family were having a baby shower, I wanted to attend so I made it happen.  I wanted to check to see how Liz was doing - I can only express my elation upon seeing that she is "large and in charge" :)  Not too large, but the appropriate "large" for a baby that will be here in about 8 weeks.  Such an exciting time.  It was our first official visit in recent times that neither of us had to attend to memorial things, and we were both excited about that.  It turned out to be everything I had looked forward to and more.  A baby shower, some time out to dinner, time to visit at the house, a nice morning run, some humid weather, a trip to see Vic and her new apartment and the surrounding area where she has settled, some tears and some laughter - a good time was had by all.

     Victoria is well.  She looks great, sounds even better and that smile that lights up a room was seen more often during this visit than it had been seen in recent months.  She is living the good life.  Single, employed, busy, and in a downtown Baltimore apartment complex that made her Aunt jealous!  Restaurant and bar downstairs, over looking the Baltimore yacht club, within walking distance of chic and upcoming restaurants and bistros - life is good for Ms. Vic.  We ate dinner at "Nacho Mammas".  Vic was scheduled to work and Liz is pregnant but Billy and I enjoyed a couple of signature margaritas and we all enjoyed dinner.  There was laughter - noticeable laughter, and that was a great thing.  The chips came to the table in a hub cap - my brother would have liked that.

     Liz and Billy were great hosts and I enjoyed my time with them.  It is good to see that they are both so excited about the arrival of this new baby.  I think that Billy got much more excited once the shower was over and he could investigate the new baby things.  We decorated, hung clothes, smelled the little baby stuff and had a really nice visit.  This new baby will be good for them, they are ready.

     This new baby will be good for all of us.....

Sunday, August 21, 2011

"Farmers Wife" like in a real farm? Yes.......

     It never ceases to amaze me that to this day when I mention something, anything about farming - people still look at me and say, "farmers wife, farming... like in dirt and tractors and stuff?"

Harvesting lettuce
     I suppose I take for granted that it is what my husband and his family have done for over 65 years in this valley, and as I type this, even I find that impressive and the years staggering.

     There are over 3200 acres of farm land just west of Lompoc City proper, that is know as "The Valley" that have in years past been farmed with beans and flowers of numerous varieties. They are now however farmed by my family mainly with vegetables such as lettuce, broccoli, cauiflower, celery and artichokes.  The following pictures are of a day that I noticed more activity than usual and I had my camera with me.  There is often much more activity and at times much less, but there is always something going on and I can attest to the fact that there is lots to do, schedules to follow and deadlines to meet in order for all of us to eat wonderful fresh, clean and tasty produce.
I suppose I really do take all this for granted, I love the smell of freshly chopped fields, and I love having access to the field fresh vegetables but it's hard work and Steve loves making all this happen. He's a very hard worker.
 Big John Deere tractor

     There is something about the process.  The working of the land, the digging in the dirt, the planting and watering and watching things grow, then the harvest and then starting all over again.  It is basic in a sense and then complicated in reality - the way the rows go, and the water flows, how much yield you can get and then let us not forget - the weather.  Before Steve I never paid much attention to "the weather" but now, I know it is an important piece to the puzzle.

     There was a time before I was married to Steve that has become a topic of conversation in our marriage.  Coming from Lompoc and then leaving Lompoc for awhile it became clear to me at some point that "the Valley" was a huge part of me.  During a time in my life that I was truly unhappy, I use to envision going down to the valley and just putting my hands in the dirt.  This became such a desire at one point, that on a trip to Lompoc with the kids, I actually went down and walked a field, put my hands in the dirt and as sad as it seems, I cried.  I believe that it had to do with the whole "roots of my being" feeling that all of this, that I had known my entire life and was important to me, had been slipping away in my life, and just putting my hands in the dirt and smelling the smells of some things that grounded me, made it all better.  I had no idea at the time, but that field that I walked and threw dirt clods in, belonged to Steve and the Guerra family.
       Shortly after that visit to Lompoc, I returned for good from Southern California - with two very small children, but minus a husband.  I returned to "plant" my family here and watch them grow, it was not at the time where I really wanted to be, or so I thought, but it was safe and easy for the kids and I - little did I know that in the next two years I would realize what a wonderful move it would become.
     I didn't know Steve when all of this was happening.  I find it very ironic to this day that the whole "putting my hands in the dirt" thing actually had anything to do with him.  I thought it had to do with my dad - he had always been in construction and dirt work, not farming, more like building, but I have always been able to close my eyes and remember how he smelled everyday when he came home from work.  He smelled like the earth - like dirt, not bad, just earthy, and I believe that my desire to just get back to basics and the honesty of simple things, the straight and narrow of life, was what I had been lacking and so needed to find again. 

     It worked, I found myself again and then two years later I certainly found it in Steve.

     And that is how I became - the farmers wife......   :)





Tuesday, August 16, 2011

No, No, No, and No.....

     Nine weeks ago I thought I was so saturated with food and alcohol that I changed my lifestyle and at this point I can say for the better!
     No sugar, no coffee, no bread, no alcohol and lots of walking and exercise.  It has worked, I think I flipped the skinny switch and I feel absolutely wonderful - I am 15 pounds down, I walk 2 miles everyday and I run 3.5 miles every other day.  I have signed up for half marathon September 16 and I do believe I will reach my goal.  I sleep better, I feel better, I think I look better - I have a better outlook and I have been able to work through many things in my head during my daily exercise -
     Life is good....

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

I wasn't done talking to him yet.

     This past weekend I started to look into buying new golf clubs.  Initially I would have called Mark and gotten the low down, instead I emailed Nate and Mikey to see what their thoughts were.  It wasn't my first choice, but it would have to do.

     Sunday I had this terrific idea, (because it is nearing the time for me to return to work) to bake some pies.  I have a new double oven, I could go crazy, why not?   I have realized lately that my blogs have pretty much been about Mark and "The Journey" but I really do love to cook!  I continued on my research for recipes for big pies, little pies, pies in jars, pies on a stick maybe, all flavors, hopefully some that are better for you than others, but pies none the less.  I found myself wanting to talk to Mark about this as well, but instead I got out his cookbook.  You see, when he passed away all I really wanted was his cookbook and I had glanced thru it a few times, enough to notice that it always falls open to the pages about Thanksgiving turkey, but I really wanted to read it now.   This turned out to be mostly a bad idea.  I came across recipes in his hand writing, pages he had marked that I wondered - did he make this soup, or was he going to make this soup?  There were grocery lists, and measurements and just papers with random words, there were pages from magazines and newspaper clippings from the Sunday morning Oregonian of things he must have liked and saved in the book.  I could imagine him sitting reading the paper on Sunday morning, talking to himself about the state of affairs the world was in, and then savorying the food section, we were very much alike in that respect, and we always saved it until last - "read the doom and gloom" he would say, "and then get down to the meat and potatoes".   He was funny like that.   I wished we had talked more about recipes, we spoke almost every day, but I find myself more often than not, whispering to myself during these days, "I wasn't done talking to you yet".

    The book is my cherished posession from my brother, it tells many tales, we spoke about it often and the things he cooked for the kids are in there, little tid bits of knowledge about cooking and the world can be found between the pages, but it ALWAYS makes me cry.   This too shall pass I continue to tell myself.  Not the memories or the sneaky smiles or words of wisdom that I can hear in my head in that big red cookbook,  but the crying - you see as Mark would say "we are ugly cryers",  my answer to that would be,  I don't care how ugly I am when I cry - at least I can cook!

     So, there were no pies that day and I am still on the quest for new golf clubs - but I made a killer artichoke dip and we all thanked Marky boy for it!