It's New Years Eve in Portland, Oregon.

     I wish I could say Happy New Year, but my heart just isn't in it.  I spoke to Steve and the girls earlier today - I am happy that they are enjoying their camp trip and New Year as much as they can, I am sad to have missed the time together.

     It has become very obvious to everyone now that Mark will loose his battle with colon cancer very, very soon.  Since arriving here I have seen the decline go from a fairly good week, to days, to now hours and I am sure we will be looking forward to minutes of decline in the progression of his disease.  He is a trooper, he has such a positive attitude it is amazing how he continues to teach me, even during this amazing time.  His love for all of us is evident in everything he does, his touch, the looks - the small times of conversation.  He is truly an amazing, amazing person - but then I hear that god only takes the BEST.

     It will be Marks 58th birthday in two days, he has lived a good life - it just hasn't been long enough.

Carrie. It's time.

It was just a week ago that Mark was sitting on top of the world, calling me from the golf course and having a grand day.

What a difference a week makes I guess because today I got the call.  "I need you here Carrie Ellen, I know it's the holidays but I can't do this without you here".  My heart sank, my throat tightened and the biggest tears welled in my eyes - and thru the lump in my throat the size of Texas I said "OK".   Thankfully he then said - "just start getting ready please, the kids are coming and mom and dad, and then I want you, can you plan on that,  please?"   The part of that I will never forget is the "please" at the end - did he REALLY feel that he had to ask me "please?"  I'll always remember the please, I hope he will always remember the "yes".

It's Pouring, I'm getting older, but I shot an 85....

     A phone conversation that cracked me up!  He's a crazy man and geez does he know how to have fun.  His trip a bit south of Portland to play golf with friends he says is really turning into a great day - despite the Oregon rain, which for some reason seemed to really bother him.  He shot an 85 and had a great time but said he can feel himself getting older, but is still wise - or course I said, along with my usual "well, tell me how it is because you will always be OLDER than me".  I mentioned that it was probably the weather, after all with all your time off recently you have become a "fair weather" golfer and he laughed and agreed.

     I am tickled about what I found this year for Mark's Christmas/Birthday gift.  While in a vintage store I found an electric train complete with the track, cars, switching box etc. It soooo reminds me of one that he had when he was young, he is gonna be so surprised.  I shipped it off and he should have it when he gets home from this little trip he is on, and before the kids arrive for the holidays.  It will go GREAT under the aluminum tree with the color carousel I got him a few years ago.  Merry Christmas Marky Boy!

     Not much else going on with us, getting ready for the holidays and Timber is coming to visit.  We will take her to Disneyland for the very first time, take our new motor home out for the trip and have Mackenzee come along to help with activities for Timber.  I am so looking forward to it.  Steven rarely takes time off unless I actually plan out things to do so I think he is looking forward to it as well.  We are a bit hesitant about taking the motor home to LAX to pick up the granddaughter, but I am sure it will work out.  Lots to do in the mean time - I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas.

Timber is coming, Timber is coming - Merry Christmas

     I bought Timbers plane ticket to come right after Christmas today, I am so excited to have her here again, and I'm looking forward to it.  We have big plans, since she has never been to Disneyland before we are taking her there with Mackenzee for a couple of days.  Then we will come back towards home and camp with a group of people over the New Years holidays, I think she will have a great visit.  We will stay near Disneyland in an RV campground close enough to walk to the park each day, I hope she enjoys it as much as I have planning it.  The girls have been emailing back and forth making plans and talking about what to do every minute of the visit.

     Last time Timber was here it was summer and it seems like forever ago.  We have been to Colorado to visit I think twice since she visited us, so it will be fun.  She and Mackenzee get along so well, it will be fun to see how they mix it up this time, you know - they are teenagers this time :)

     We will camp with the Cross family so there will be plenty of kids and they are all taking bikes, it's been awhile since we had kids running around the camp ground, we will see how excited Papa Steve is with that :)

Timber and Mackenzee @ Jalama beach.

Timber and I during our last visit.